Lyudmila Koltonyuk always knew she wanted to be a hairdresser — ever since she saw her grandparents working at their barbershop in Ukraine, where she was born. She grew up in the states and put herself through beauty school, which she started when her oldest daughter was nine months old. These days, she works at a salon in the East Village. To her, the neighborhood represents freedom, and she’s found joy working at a salon there. We stopped by her home in Coney Island to talk about finding the courage to leave bad relationships, the music that takes her back in time, and buying a whole new outfit on her lunch break.
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on her morning routine
I am the worst morning person you could ever meet. I wake up at 8 o’clock. I don’t jump right out of bed. I’ll check my emails, sometimes the news. I have the New York Times App, so sometimes I’ll check that, or I’ll check local news. I try to follow what’s going on in Ukraine with the war, but it’s so heartbreaking that I can’t do it on a regular basis. Once I’ve done that for a while, I’ll get out of bed and shower.
If I want it to be a relaxed morning, I have to leave the house around 10:30 and be at the train station by quarter to 11. Then I have enough time to have a little cup of coffee, relax, and get ready at work. I like to get coffee at Abraco. Sometimes I make coffee at home but it's not the same coffee. I'm forever spoiled by the East Village coffee.
on being a creative child
In Ukraine, my father worked for the local newspaper. That was his last job before we left. Before that, he was a director of a music hall. My mom worked with him selling tickets and doing odd jobs.
I was always creative, and I was curious. I had this doll that my grandmother gave me when I was born. It was this German doll. It was bigger than I was when I was an infant. And when I was a kid, I gave her little baby bangs. And I would do my brother's hair growing up. I’d give him blowouts and things like that. I would cut my own hair. When I was about 12 years old, my father gave me a blow dryer with different attachments. It was so cool. That was the best gift ever. I was like, “How did you know?”
on leaving the soviet union
My grandfather was quite an adventurer. He was very brave, and he loved to travel. So, as soon as he heard Jews were allowed out of the Soviet Union — Jews were able to leave right after World War II, but they weren’t allowed to for a long time, until the Carter presidency — he got the family together and was like, ‘I want to leave.’ I had an aunt who lived here, because a relative had left right after the war, and she was able to sponsor us and get us all here. So, my grandfather, all his children, all their children — including me — came here.
I was only 10 years old at the time. We had to keep the fact that we were leaving very quiet. We were considered deserters — they didn’t like having us there, but they didn’t want us to go either. Everyone had to quit their jobs and schools months ahead of time. I remember leaving early morning while people were still sleeping. When we were crossing the border, it was a little scary because they would be checking if we had any extra jewelry, any cash, or anything of value. We were strip-searched. That was a little traumatic for a 10-year-old. They took a ring off my father’s hand, and they took any money we had. And they held us until the very last minute before the train was leaving. The train was already leaving, and they made everyone run to catch the train. That I'll never forget. That's how I left the country. It’s different now. I've gone to visit Russia, but I have not been back to Ukraine. I have no one there. My childhood friends, who knows where they are? Maybe when things settle down, I’ll go back. I would love to see the place that I left. We lived in a smaller town, not too far from Kiev.
on adjusting to america
I'm sure we had it easier than some people. At least we had family here. I think the adjustment was harder for my parents than it was for me. The biggest adjustment was learning the language. It was difficult; there was no ESL in schools at the time. I made friends, but it took time to pick up the language. And by the time I did pick it up, I had missed a lot in school. I fell behind, even though I had been an A student in Ukraine. And at that time, teachers didn't pay attention to that.
on finding independence
My high school friends all thought I should go to college. They saw something in me that I just didn’t see at the time. All I wanted was to start working and be independent. My parents were a little bit overprotective and kind of strict. And it didn't make sense to me — like, why do you need me to be at home at 10 o'clock? I couldn't stand that at that time. Now I know they were making sure I was safe, but they didn't explain that to me then. They were parents of very few words. They meant well. They were good parents. But I wanted to be free. I’m different with my kids. I talk to them. I will explain. I’ll say, please be careful, be mindful of your surroundings. But do your thing.
“My father was a musician in his younger years. This is his trumpet. For a while, he was a teacher in a music school. I kept his instrument and his camera. Me and my father were very much alike. We had the same soul. He was a great man, very kind, very interesting, and very talented. I love him very much.”
on america, russia, and ukraine
I grew up here — I’m American, but not like someone that was born here. The experiences are different — different environments, different friendships. Your friends were like your family in Ukraine. Here, the Russian community in the ‘90s was also very tight-knit and it was easy to find friends. But at that time, I didn't see the difference between Ukrainian and Russian. For the Ukrainians that are coming here now, it's different. But for me, because I came here in the ‘70s, Russian or Ukrainian doesn’t make a difference to me. Good people are good people. It doesn't matter to me where they're from. I have some Russian friends here who speak out against the war, they do everything they can. So, I have nothing against Russian people as people. The problem is the government, it's not the people. And not all people are the same. Maybe there's hatred, but I stay away from that. I don't want to be a part of it. Especially at work. It's not a place for it. It should be easy, relaxed, upbeat. Well, sometimes we talk about things that hurt you in your life, and we share, and that's okay too, but it’s not a place for politics.
on becoming a hairdresser
I always knew this was exactly what I wanted to be. My grandfather was a barber, and so was my grandmother. They worked together in a shop in Ukraine. So, I was always exposed to salons and barbershops, and I was like, wow, that’s a great job! I loved it. I loved the creativity. So, it was a natural, comfortable fit. It was a no-brainer.
on standing on her own two feet
I got married right out of high school. I was 18. Then I had my baby at 19. The marriage lasted about three years, maybe a little less. I tried to make the marriage work. I was patient, I gave it a shot. I believe in giving people chances, but I don’t allow people to mistreat me. I have always tried to have respect for myself and the strength to stand up for myself and other women. So, I decided to leave. It took courage, but you can't be unhappy forever. Life is too short. I was in beauty school at that time, and I made up my mind that as soon as I got on my feet I would leave the relationship, so I did.
I took the baby, and I didn't take anything else. After that, I was a single mom. My grandmother had just arrived here from Ukraine, and she was staying with my parents, so there wasn’t space for me to go back there. It was rough at first. I was starting with no money, giving the divorce lawyer my last dollar. It was hard, but I survived.
on going to beauty school
In the late ‘80s, I went to a beauty institute in Brooklyn. It was called Ultissima at the time, but now it has a different name. I started when my daughter was nine months old. I finished that and then I got my license. My first job was in Park Slope. I worked there for a few months, but I felt like I wasn't ready to be behind the chair. School doesn't really give you too much experience. I had my license, but I didn’t feel like I was really ready. I knew enough to feel uncomfortable — enough to know I didn't have enough knowledge. Behind that chair, you have to be professional, you have to know what you’re doing, and you can’t just be winging it. So, I quit. I felt I needed more education and more experience. So, I went from a hairdressing job to an assistant job, where they provided training. It was a very, very good decision. It built my confidence. That job was at one of the top salons in Brooklyn at that time. I moved to Philly for a short time — there was someone special and I moved because of him, but I didn’t stay too long. It didn’t work out. So, I came back to New York.
on breaking out of familiar patterns
After my first marriage ended, I had some relationships, and eventually, I got married again, but it didn’t work out. To be honest with you, I picked the same exact person with a different name. I think many people are drawn to familiarity. It was familiar. I thought it was different, but later I realized that it was exactly the same thing, or even worse. Maybe a lot of men at that time weren't hands-on dads and weren't true partners. I think they thought working was enough. My kids are 12 years apart. My last husband wasn't a hands-on dad, so my oldest helped with the younger one a lot. And thank God, because if it wasn't for her help, I don't know how I would have supported this family. It was always a juggling act when the kids were little because I had to work, but I managed. That marriage lasted ten years. I wanted to make it work. I wasn’t perfect, but I tried. But both people have to give it their all.
After that, I realized that being single was the right fit for me. Nobody can put my world upside down again that way. I'm still open to a relationship if I find a perfect partner who’s supportive and respectful. But right now, I’m still building myself up.
“I try to make my clients feel comfortable, and when they’re comfortable, they open up. I think I’m at the age where I can relate to almost anything they are going through. I have experienced that, or my daughter is experiencing it — I can relate to a lot of them.”
on leaving a bad relationship
I know someone who is in an abusive relationship and she's so afraid to leave. I always encourage her and tell her you can do this. You're making a very good living. You can have a place of your own, even if it’s just a room. That’s better than to be abused by anyone. No one should have that right. And I will celebrate with her if she breaks free of it.
I understand why people stay in bad relationships. I was in one for ten years. I knew I wanted to leave the first year, but I got pregnant almost immediately after I got married and I wanted my child to have a father. I really wanted that for her. I tried to make it work. But ultimately I had to leave. I wasn’t happy. When we were married, I worked part-time because my husband was building himself up and I was supporting him in that. I had to take a back seat. He decided that he would be the one working more and I would be the one who's taking care of the kids more — even though I had a lot of clients before that, and it was not the best decision for me, as far as my career goes. But I was like, I guess I'll let my clientele go. I'll put my daughters first. I don't regret it because kids are only young once. But when the marriage fell apart, I had to start all over again. I had to take it one day at a time. And I connected with people. It’s important to have a support system — people who respect you, people who like you, and people who recognize your kindness.
on dating
I still date. I'll meet people here and there. It's hard to find a decent, nice, kind person that you also find attractive. I’ve met people on dating apps, but nothing good came out of those apps. It was easier before the apps when everyone just met in person.
I’ve had some interesting relationships, but I don't believe in staying in a relationship if someone lies to you. Once I find that out, I know the relationship is based on deception. You can’t get that trust back. And I can’t be with someone who judges me, especially if I open my heart and I'm being honest and open. Support them or don’t say anything at all. You’ve never been in their shoes. They did what they could at the time. They did their best. Be kind and don’t judge them.
on her music collection
I got rid of so many CDs but these I just didn't have the heart to get rid of. They’re part of my experience and the past. I used to go and buy something so often. It was almost like going to Toys R Us – CD Stores were it. I don’t even know the names of some of the things I listen to now — CDs helped with that because you could hold it and look at it.
In the ‘90s, I loved Modern Talking. I still listen to them. It just makes me smile. I think a lot of Eastern Europeans liked it at that time. I had their cassette before I had CDs. I had a record player as well. But that was a long time ago, that was in the 80s. And records are so back now.
Music takes you back in time. You put on the record and you're there — in your childhood or your 20s or your 30s. It reminds you of your life at that time. It has meaning, it’s a part of you.
on going to the movies
When my oldest daughter was really little, she loved going to the movies with me. Every Sunday was a movie day. But then, we kind of stopped going. Now I go on special occasions — when there’s something that I really want to see.
Recently, I saw Anora. I thought it was hilarious but also sad. It was filmed close to me, and one day when they were filming, I was on the boardwalk with my daughter. We went out for a walk and tea at Tatiana's. It was so cold — they were filming the scene where she's walking with a long coat and a scarf in the wind. We didn't know it was being filmed. We were having tea and we were like, what's going on?
“I’ve always tried to concentrate on the people who need me. That’s what kept me going when things were hard. I never felt like I had the freedom to just be weak. I had weak moments like anyone else, but I felt like I didn’t have the right to fall apart. I had children. I had to support them. I had to be there for them. I put myself last. But of course, without nourishing yourself you cannot be for others, so I try to find moments for myself. I go for a walk, go see a movie or a play, and work out if I can. ”
on getting back into exercise
I signed up for the gym around the corner from my salon. I find that if I work out, I have more energy I eat better and I hydrate more, so I’m trying to get back into it. I used to have these habits when I was young. I used to work out after work all the time. That's where you will find me. But life has changed. When my kids were little, I would rush home. My little one used to have a tutor, so after work, I would be running home to let him in. And I had more responsibilities – my parents were aging, and they weren't healthy, so I was caring for them. All of that took me away from a healthy lifestyle. I always try with food; I slip up a lot, but I try.
I’ve wanted to get back to the gym for a long time. I used to belong to a gym closer to my home, but then COVID happened, and I was afraid to go, like so many others, so I froze the account. But last May, I decided I was going to start paying for the gym and going again. But in the summer, it was too hot, so it took me a while to actually start going.
I’m starting slow — the bike, the treadmill. I want to do weights too, but not yet. When I used to work out seriously, I would do 45 minutes of cardio and then I would do weights. I would do different parts of the body every time I was there. I know what to do, I just have to slowly get back into it. I’m proud of myself for starting again. I like the way I feel afterwards — no anxiety, free, and very energetic. Your body flows, and your mind is clear. It's so good for your mind.
on being enough
I am trying to tell myself that I am enough. It’s something everyone should say to themselves: I’m enough. Most of your life, you think, I can be smarter, I can be taller, I can be thinner, or I could be more educated, I could be so much more. But finally, you have to say, I'm enough.
When I was younger, there was a hollowness. Something that needed to be filled. There is so much joy when you finally feel that you’re on the right path — when you can see that you’ve been on the right path all along. Sometimes you need someone else to see you to help you realize that. I always see my daughters and sometimes they don't see themselves. I always tell them, “You're beautiful. I see that. You're kind. You have a beautiful heart. You're talented.”
on her home
This is my space, and that brings me peace. This is mine. This is where I come home to. To be honest with you, if I had someone who knows how to paint, I would have a painter here right now. I’d have it painted all white, all clean, a new beginning. I’d sand those floors; I don't like them anymore. But it would be a big project. When I first moved in, all I did was paint my place, because my daughter was nine months old. And I installed carpets, but then I had a couple of pets that destroyed those carpets, so I pulled the carpets out. At some point, I did a renovation. It’s all okay — some of it could have been done a little bit better, with a little more love. The kitchen floor is my favorite thing from the renovation I did — the person who did that did it with so much love and care. I wish I had his number. I’d get him to redo my bathroom. He was such a nice person. He would come in and take his shoes off. I'd be like, “You're working on the floor. Why are you taking off your shoes?” But he was just so respectful. He was so nice. A different person did the counter. I had it custom-made. I saw something similar that the neighbor had, and I chose the material and the colors. There was a granite, gray and with blue and silver sparkles. Oh my God, I was in love with it, but I couldn't afford it. So, I got this.
on her artistic pursuits
My daughter always pushes me to be in the art world, in the art scene. We’ll go to galleries and museums. The Brooklyn Museum is my favorite place. I took a photography class there last summer. My daughter constantly motivates me. She was trying to get me to take another class this month, but there’s no way. I’m busy every single day, including my days off. But maybe soon — I’d take a class in painting or sketching or sculpture.
on aging
I’ve always thought that you should never let yourself get old inside. I think youthfulness comes from within. It's not how you do your hair — I mean, that helps, but it really comes from within. You should find something that brings you joy. My children bring me joy. Seeing my daughters grow in their careers, seeing my granddaughter grow into this beautiful, independent, smart, amazing little girl — that's what keeps you young.
“I always wanted to work in the East Village. I always felt like myself there. There’s a kind of freedom. It’s a special place that I feel comfortable in. And since I started working there, I’ve found happiness. I don’t like the rats running around, but other than that, I love it so much. I love the people I’m working with. It brings me joy to know that they appreciate me.”
on what she’s listening to
My commute is an hour and 15 minutes, and I mostly listen to music, or sometimes a podcast. I listen to whatever I’m in the mood for. It’s always different. Sometimes classical and instrumental when I want to relax. And I always like Sting and The Beatles. Now my daughter introduces me to new music, and I like it. I don’t remember the names, but I'm like, I love this. I like The Mel Robbins Podcast. My daughter and I both listen to her. She gives advice — whatever older women or younger women go through; she covers. And she just came out with a new book called Let Them. She's interesting. I like her. Sometimes she talks about her life. She’s a very real and open person.
At the salon, we are constantly listening to very nice playlists. It’s a mixture of different stuff, because the number one thing is to cater to different tastes. And thank God, because if it's not a nice playlist, it kind of ruins your day. It distracts me if it's bad. But if it's good, it keeps me going. I've been a hairdresser since God knows when and it's always the playlist that can get you through your day.
on her style
My style has mostly stayed the same through the years. It’s a little edgy — Doc Martens, baggy jeans, leather jacket. That's my style. It has not changed. My father used to ask me, “Are you ever going to dress like a grown woman?” And I'd be like, “No.”
I used to have my favorite boutiques — they’re probably out of business now. When I was in my mid-20s, I would wear something, and if I didn’t feel good in it during the day, I would go to a favorite boutique on my lunch hour and change my outfit before I went back to work. Then I’d feel good, and that made it easier to continue the day. At the time I worked in Sheepshead Bay, which is a very upscale neighborhood. The boutiques there had nice clothing and Italian shoes. Now, I shop online. I started during the pandemic, and I got hooked. It’s so convenient. I like Everlane, AllSaints, Uniqlo. Anywhere — I don’t discriminate.
on her beauty routine
This year I kind of let my skin be natural. I have not gone to my dermatologist in about a year. I'm very busy right now. But moisturizers help. I like Clarins and Clinique. I'm sure there are better brands out there, but I haven't tried them so far. I used to get facials a lot, because I had someone that I trusted to do them. I take Biotin for my skin, hair, and nails. It makes your nails much stronger. It works. And I take a multivitamin every day.
For makeup, I like Clinique Even Better foundation and Laura Mercier setting powder, Too Faced Foreplay mascara primer and Better Than Sex mascara, and Urban Decay brow gel and lipstick. And I use Neutrogena makeup wipes.
One of my friends does my hair, but I mix my base color. I'm not playing around with style at this point, but when I was younger, I experimented. Long, short, pixie. And I went through every color there is. Black and blonde platinum and red highlights, gold highlights, everything. Now, a bob works for me because it's so quick. I only spend 10 minutes on my hair in the morning. I’ve had it shorter, but that’s not what I want right now. This is what works for me at the moment. You want something that you don't spend hours in front of the mirror trying to fix — that's what works.
For hair products, I use Pureology shampoo and conditioner, Amika leave-in conditioner and anti-humidity spray, Redken leave-in conditioner, Moroccan Oil curl cream, Milbon Creative Style gel cream.
on what she’s reading
Edgar Allen Poe was my favorite author when I was in high school. I was introduced to him by my favorite English teacher. She was a stewardess before she was English teacher, and I just thought that was so interesting. So, she inspired me, and I still love the short stories that I read in her class. The Alchemist was introduced to me by one of my childhood friends. She became my client later. We kind of lost touch but she recommended that book and I liked it. Recently I thought, it's time to read it again. And then art books — I was always into art in high school. I took every single art class there was. I used to sketch. I like Dalí’s clocks. There’s something about how they’re melting. And I love Mario Puzo — he wrote The Godfather and a lot of other books. I love his style of writing. It's difficult to get my attention when I start reading a book, but he just goes from one topic to the next, and it's never boring, and the whole story opens in front of you.
lyudmila’s favorite spots in nyc
My favorite coffee is at Elsewhere. For food, Fushimi in Bay Ridge. I love Japanese food. I love that place. It's so good. There's a restaurant called Mari Vanna in the city. It's Russian food. Also, the Ukrainian place in the East Village, Veselka. I love that place. It’s so comforting.
I love to go to the movies at BAM. Nitehawk in Prospect Park is great, and so is Alamo.
I love to walk anywhere by the water — the boardwalk is nice when it's not crowded. Or Brooklyn Bridge. I love it; I don't go there enough. Or here by the Verrazano Bridge — Shore Parkway, along the water.
