Films to Mend Heartbreak
All About My Mother (1999) dir. Pedro Almodóvar
“Films to transport and provide comfort when your heart is broken. ”
Heartbreak happening is as inevitable a part of life as falling in love is. Much like the varied relationships we cultivate and extinguish across our lifetimes, heartbreak can take a variety of forms and stem from any number of intimate relationships—like the fizzling of a romantic flame, the dissolution of a years-long friendship, or as the product of a familial rift. Heartbreak can come as a surprise or the result of prolonged anticipation. What makes it familiar and universal is the feeling it leaves: the pangs of sadness, longing, and unease that linger, no matter whether you’re sure it’s “for the best” or not. One way to get through those feelings is by observing others feel them on screen. Whether it’s time to wallow, distract, or work through the emotions of heartbreak, the passerby community has enthusiastically shared a range of films that have helped mend their own broken hearts. Grab a pint of ice cream, curl up on the couch, and dig in.
The Holiday (2006) dir. Nancy Meyers
recommended by sukey novogratz, caitlin mcmullen, and jenna saraco
Some may claim Nancy Meyers’ The Holiday as a film for the festive season, but in Sukey Novogratz’s mind, it’s perfect at “any time of the year.” The rom-com follows Iris (Kate Winslet) and Amanda (Cameron Diaz), women who are both unlucky in love. They meet online by chance and decide to swap houses. As both travel across the globe (from the UK to LA and vice versa), they each find luck turn in their favor. The Platonic ideal of a funny, light-hearted rom-com in a genre known for the opposite of platonic endings.
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Love (2015) dir. Gasper Noé
recommended by karolyn pho and ly ngo
Gaspar Noé’s films are hardly for the faint of heart, and his 2015 work Love remains as shocking as any other. “Sex” might have been a more apt title, as graphic, unsimulated sex acts fill much of the work’s runtime. But it’s still worth unpacking what’s at the heart of this film: the age-old question of whether sexual curiosity and monogamous companionship are inherently incompatible.
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20th Century Women (2016) dir. Mike Mills
recommended by Christina crawford and marina sulmona
Mike Mills is a master of making his audiences cry and laugh in that good way that feels necessary and nourishing, which can be really comforting when tending to a broken heart. 20th Century Women is about a single mom (Annette Bening) in Santa Barbara who’s raising a son with the help of a free spirit (Greta Gerwig) and a teenage girl (Elle Fanning). As Christina Crawford puts it, it captures a feeling: “The heartbreak of being a single mom to a boy who will grow up no matter what you do.” Plus, fans of 20th Century Women love 20th Century Women.
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Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) dir. Michel Gondry
recommended by rachel nguyen and georgie greville jasper
When forgetting feels like the only way through, Michel Gondry’s modern classic is sure to put you under a spell. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind evokes emotion and a tender sense of yearning as it turns its lens towards the story of a heartbroken man who learns his girlfriend underwent a medical procedure to erase him from her memory. He opts to do the same, and in doing so, brings the audience on a nostalgic journey that ruminates on the preciousness of memory and how painful experiences change us.
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Marriage Story (2019) dir. Noah Baumbach
Recommended by jenna saraco and jessica assaf
Marriage Story is a film about what happens when a marriage ends in divorce. Noah Baumbach chronicles an event that many married Americans go through with his usual care, wit, comedy, and neurosis. The annoying and costly intricacies of divorce’s legal proceedings and how to handle co-parenting a kid that’s stuck in the middle undergo scrutiny. But it’s not all doom and gloom: Laura Dern’s performance is spectacularly entertaining, as is Adam Driver’s rendition of the musical number, “Being Alive.”
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Pretty in Pink (1986) dir. Howard Deutch
recommended by ariel roman
Teenagers from the ’80s and beyond have watched and rewatched the films John Hughes (who wrote Pretty in Pink) made with Molly Ringwald for the comfort they invariably provide. This film, which focuses on the social clique dynamics and crisscrossing crushes that feel inevitable to being in high school, fits right in with Ringwald’s other teen roles in Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. Make it a marathon and transport yourself back to the ails of being a teen.
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Amélie (2001) dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet
recommended by soraya ahoubim
“For heartbreak, I like to watch Amélie, for hope,” Soraya Ahoubim tells us. The French film, directed by Jean-Pierre Jeunet, is whimsical and indelible, so visual and colorful. Its charms go beyond its visual qualities as the story of a quirky, lonely waitress (Audrey Tautou) working in a Parisian bistro embarking on little missions to make the lives of others more complete, joyful, or pleasurable propels the film.
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Funny Face (1957) dir. Stanley Donen
recommended by lynette nylander
Sometimes all you need is a trip to a fantasy world. In Stanley Donen’s Funny Face, Audrey Hepburn signing and dancing her way through Paris as a reluctant model and muse to Fred Astaire’s fashion photographer delivers just that. The film’s joyful use of vibrant technicolor and the covetable outfits Hepburn dons amuse and charm, perhaps just enough to detract from the fantasy that she has a “funny face.”
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The Joy Luck Club (1993) dir. Wayne Wang
recommended by beverly nguyen
Based on Amy Tan’s novel of the same name, Wayne Wang’s The Joy Luck Club tells the interweaving stories of four sets of Chinese and Chinese American mother-daughters living in San Francisco. Much of the film is comprised of movement between the past and present, as the mothers gather for mahjong and recount (or conceal) the stories of their pasts and futures to paint an epic yet intimate portrait of custom, legacy, and what’s gained and lost with time’s passing.
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Some honorable mentions include All About My Mother (1999) dir. Pedro Almodóvar (recommended by Marina Sulmona), Call Me By Your Name dir. Luca Guadagnino (recommended by Ly Ngo), Before Sunset dir. Richard Linklater (recommended by Jenna Saraco), Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) dir. Abdellatif Kechiche (recommended by Karolyn Pho), Sabrina (1995) dir. Billy Wilder (recommended by Karolyn Pho), Romeo + Juliet (1996) dir. Baz Luhrmann (recommended by Ly Ngo), The Notebook (2004) dir. Nick Cassavetes (recommended by Tina Bhojwani), The Darjeeling Limited (2007) dir. Wes Anderson (recommended by Maria Geyman), When Harry Met Sally (1989) dir. Rob Reiner (recommended by Lyndsey Butler), Beginners (2010) dir. Mike Mills (recommended by Eva Goicochea), Everyone Says I Love You (1996) dir. Woody Allen (recommended by Natalie Guevara), He’s Just Not That Into You (2009) dir. Ken Kwapis (recommended by Abby Pucker), Closer (2004) dir. Mike Nichols (recommended by Jenna Saraco), Like Crazy (2011) dir. Drake Doremus (recommended by Carolina Santos-Neves), and The Fault in Our Stars (2014) dir. Josh Boone (recommended by Carolina Santos-Neves).
If you’re looking for a book to accompany your screenings, start with our piece on the topic, or Kerrilynn Pamer's recommendation of When Things Fall Apart by Pema Chödrön.
Words by Marina Sulmona