Dinner party tips to get you through the holidays
a passerby guide to hosting unforgettable evenings
While the sun is setting at 4:49 pm and blowing the dust off our seasonal depression, the dark months begin to need something fun: the dinner party. We’re always trying to force the summer solstice party, but the holiday ones come so naturally — such an organic, chilly occasion for crocks of hot food and a crowded table and a lump of coats by the door. With the holidays fast approaching, we felt it was the perfect time to tap our resources and think up ways we might level up our hosting. We’ve consulted some dinner party experts in the passerby network, of which there are many, from the founder of Care of Chan, Sue Chan, to Kalen Kaminski, the founder of Upstate, and Mia H, the genius behind @sluttycooking. We also consulted Camille Jetta, the founder and head chef at Dinner Party, Grace Gloria Denis, an artist and thinker who made playing with food both intellectual and highly professional, and Srishti Jain, a phenomenal chef and cookbook author with an Instagram feed that reliably sends us to the fridge. Here’s an instructional guide on how to put together a dinner party to remember, as curated and vetted by passerby experts.
How to set the scene
The #1 secret? “Candles — specifically lots of candles — go a long way,” said Sue Chan, founder of Care of Chan. She particularly loves these whimsical Gohar candles, which include everything from a persimmon to a drumstick to a full sundae. Kalen Kaminski of Upstate reiterated the same — “they’re mandatory.”
“I also like setting the table with an assortment of the upstate cups,” Kalen said. “I usually keep the rest of the table pretty neutral but love the mix of color in the glassware next to the candlelight.”
Grace Gloria Denis told us, “I tend to gravitate towards the monochromatic, often selecting a subtle palette of creams to complement the hues of the food served, which usually ends up being quite colorful within my realm of preferred ingredients. For glassware, I love the Mamo glasses, in particular their new coupe silhouette. My dream table would consist of a dining set by Yusuké Offhause, more specifically, his Yugen Stonewares set, which I was lucky enough to serve in during my dinner at the Swiss biennale foodculture days.”
Mia’s ideal setting calls for a lot of natural light, or warm lighting at the very least. She said, “the tablecloth acts as the canvas for every other component and I have three favorites I usually alternate between; vintage light pink linen, Battenburg lace, and Tekla. I’ve found almost all of my serving plates and cutlery at antique markets, thrift stores, and online, either on eBay or Etsy — they don’t always match but I think that can make a table look more beautiful. One of my favorite things to include on my table is silver accents, whether from antique trays or my twist candleholder (a collaboration between Etagere and Sophie Lou Jacobsen).”
How to set the scene on a budget
Say you don’t have a ton of money to spend on a single evening. “I do not have one set of matching dinnerware,” said chef Srishti Jain, “instead, a lot of pieces are collected over the years and matched in an eclectic way. I like to get a few things here and there when traveling or thrifting.” She also suggests “using anything as a makeshift candle stand (asparagus with the base chopped off, even a stick of soft butter). As long as I can bring color and creativity to the table, it works for me! You can elevate your dinner party without spending too much with handwritten menus and little condiments (flaky salt, chili oil) around the table.”
Kalen mills her neighborhood in Chinatown to pull items from restaurant supply stores and 99-cent stores. “There are so many fun tchotchkes and utilitarian pieces that tie in well and ground the more whimsical table pieces like flowers, candles, and colorful glassware.” She takes the DIY approach to her napkins, repurposing stained ones by throwing them in a dye bath with turmeric, beets, avocado pits, onion skins, etc. “It’s not as intimidating as it sounds and your guests will appreciate the subtle but beautiful color story it brings to your table.” Mia makes her own napkin rings from velvet ribbon, in “whichever color ties into the rest of the table.”
Both Kalen and Grace pull materials from their natural environment. “If I’m at my house in the country,” Kalen said, “I’ll pull natural elements from the yard or farm stands, whether it be produce, leaves, stones, or flowers.” Grace told us she “likes to implement elements that would normally be discarded, such as exterior leaves and ends of vegetables, to embellish a tablescape. A personal favorite is serving olives or dips in the exterior leaves of cabbages or radicchios.”
Go-to dishes & drinks
Grace gave us all her hosting secrets for this one, suggesting “a decadent cheese plate,” which is “generally the fulcrum of my dinners, complemented by an array of seasonal adornments” for an appetizer. And for the main course — “they tend to fluctuate contingent on the season. This week, I am dreaming of fresh cappelletti with wild mushrooms. Something from the chicory family usually inevitably makes its way into the menu, whether it be braised escarole or roasted treviso.”
For drinks, she recommends going for a light red, especially pineau d’aunis, “a peppery and slightly floral grape that pairs beautifully with most dishes. I adore all of Emile Hérédia’s wines, and incorporate a heavy rotation by Anders Frederik Steen and Jean-Pierre Robinot.” For cocktails, she suggests a dirty martini with Yola Mezcal.
“My go-to dessert is generally a clafoutis, which is incredibly easy to make and can be adapted to most fruits. This summer, I was really enjoying it with freshly picked blackberries.”
Best recipes for cooking for 6+ people
Cami Jetta, the founder and head chef at Dinner Party, suggested Jamie Oliver's ragù. She also mentioned that “a big pot of something plus a starch plus a big bowl of greens is a recipe for success. Conclude with a little sweet treat (even squares of chocolate do fine) and you're above and beyond impressive hosting.”
Sue recommended making easy one-pot recipes, like a hot pot or donabe, and Kalen suggested this paella recipe from the New York Times, or this super simple Spaghetti Limone. Mia recommended this Vegetarian Kibbeh recipe, or Marcella Hazan’s tomato sauce.
What to wear
Large consensus here — anything you’re wearing should be footloose, fancy-free, and then most importantly, covered by what Sue called a “stylish yet functional” apron. “My friends at TL 180 make these really cute knit dresses that are comfortable, cute, and chic,” said Kalen, “I love hosting in this one.”
What music to play
Srishti shared her dinner party playlist with us, which features a wide array of artists and genres, from Daniel Caesar to Kali Uchis. Cami said, “Upbeat jazz remains uncontested — no lyrics, just vibes. The music should generate energy, but seldom distract. It can become a centerpiece later on.” For more playlists, passerby recommends NTS and Radiooooo.
How to power through clean-up
“Every good cook knows two things,” Sue said. “Set up your mise before guests arrive and clean as you go.” Cami told us to “blast music in the kitchen and gather three of your closest friends to bang out the dishes with you. Any time I try to be a martyr and do it alone I become such an asshole.”
Advice to someone who has never hosted an event before
Srishti advised to start small — invite a few close friends over and cook for them, then build from there. “Cooking and hosting is a muscle you have to develop and practice — the more you do it, the easier and more intuitive it becomes.” She also reminded us not to be afraid to ask your friends for help. “I will always ask people to bring bread, wine, ice, or anything simple that makes my job easier.”
Sue consults the “experts,” to help her out: “You don't have to make everything from scratch. For a pizza party, buy dough from your local pizzeria. For dessert, buy a selection of Italian cookies from your favorite Italian bakery.” Mia uses a to-do list to outline everything from grocery shopping through the prep to make the whole thing seem less overwhelming, and Grace reminds us of the power of simplicity — good quality ingredients can make good quality, low-lift dishes. For more tips on hosting for beginners, we recommend our Starter’s Guide to Hosting article.
Rituals of hosting
This event should be fun for you to throw — not stressful. Each of our experts approaches their parties with a bit of a ritual, either before or after.
Grace called the trip to the market the ritual aspect of her hosting experience, and Kalen agreed — “If I have the luxury to have a slow day before the event, then I love having exactly that and taking all day to set the table. I’ll usually go up to the Union Square farmer’s market in the morning and see if there's anything special there...flowers, cheeses, produce, etc.”
Srishti orders herself a pizza after one of her supper clubs, and Mia takes a long shower and goes directly to sleep — “I give myself the night to have zero thoughts.”
How to know if you’ve pulled it off
“Dinner parties can’t not be successful,” Kalen said. “People, especially New Yorkers, love nothing more than to be invited into your space to see the inner workings.” Both Grace and Mia said the best sign of success is a series of clean plates, and Cami told us you’ve pulled it off “if people are full, loud, and they linger until late — a dinner party should be the main event of the evening, not something you stop by before something else.”
Words by Julia Harrison
Images by Mia H, Grace Gloria Denis, Sue Chan, and Kalen Kaminski/Meghan Marin