Camera Roll with Kerrilynn Pamer
Camera roll is an interview series where we glimpse into the current moment via the mundane and the ordinary; the life lived in this moment of a global pandemic.
Kerrilynn Pamer invites us to scroll through images of her alongside her husband and pups settling into their new lives in California. The natural beauty behind CAP Beauty also speaks with us about her past in New York, how a Celiac diagnosis kickstarted her career in clean beauty, and what writing means to her.
Where are you right now?
I’m in Calabasas, California, right on the border of Malibu. Or as my husband likes to call it, “Malabasas.”
What’s your morning routine?
Wake up and immediately turn the espresso machine on, head to the sink and pour myself a huge glass of water to take my Seed probiotics and Dosage pearl pill. Morning starts with a tongue scrape, followed by a splash of coldish water on the face. Then I swipe Marie Veronique Balancing HypoTonic across my skin, follow that up with Marie Veronique C-Therapy Serum, then Be Here Farm Summer Solstice Serum, and then Josh Rosebrook Tinted Moisturizer and Sunscreen. All of that is topped off with the LESSE toner, and I’m done!
I light a stick of incense, open the doors, and head outside for my first meditation. After that, I typically start breakfast which lately has been fruit and granola, or sourdough toast with some slightly too early tomatoes, Oracle Olive Oil, and pink salt. Then I start my workday.
Tell us a little bit about your background and journey.
I moved to New York when I was 24, so half a lifetime ago. I studied interior design and thought that New York was where I was supposed to be. Turns out it was, as I was there for 25 years. I longed for the West Coast for many of those years, but with a business in New York, I was never able to make the move happen. But with the closure of my store, we took the opportunity to start over in California. That was a year ago last month.
How did you get into the beauty and skincare world, and how have your roles changed over time?
After being diagnosed with celiac, I really started to assess and analyze not only what I was eating but what I was applying to my skin. I had always had problematic skin with pretty intense rosacea and acne, but when I changed my way of eating and using products that nourished my skin as opposed to stripping it, the state of my skin changed. I had a clothing store before CAP Beauty and loved fashion, but I was slowly falling out of love with it and falling in love with beauty and the act of caring for myself in a different way.
My role has morphed drastically over this last year. I was packing, shipping, writing, creating content, doing the books, really all of it with just one employee. I was able to dive into areas of the business that I didn’t have hands-on experience with before, and although this was incredibly challenging at times, I learned more about my business than ever. The industry has changed so dramatically in the last seven years, and I’m so grateful to be a part of the conversation around the importance of radical self-care and the powerful act of taking care of yourself.
What was it like starting a business?
I think I’m much better self-employed than employed by someone else. I’ve worked for myself since 2001, so it’s always been something that’s pretty natural to me. But I don't think that this life is for everyone; it’s just always been how I’ve approached work and a state I’m comfortable in.
What does writing mean to you? What was your experience of making High Vibrational Beauty like?
I learned to write during my adult years. It was always something that I was fearful of, didn't think that I was good at, thought you were “born" with. I’ve learned that is not true. My husband has been my biggest supporter in showing me that I have a voice and that I can write. I’ve grown to love it in a way that surprises me. It’s a great reminder that those things you are often the most fearful of have much to teach you. I’m even taking a creative writing class this month.
What do your days look like?
A lot of work but sprinkled in with ocean time, setting up our home, organizing, reading, walking the dogs, and a ton of cooking. There is nothing better to me than a home that feels welcoming and loved. I spend a lot of time thinking about how to create that and then making it happen. I’m fascinated with the idea of beauty, but not in the traditional conventional way. John O’Donohue is the master on this topic: I refer to his teachings on beauty often and find myself nodding my head when reading or listening to him expand on this huge theme of beauty and its impact on one’s life.
How do you make time for your personal life and balance it with work?
This is a tough one for me. I’m not great at creating this separation. It’s something I work on daily. The calendar seems to hold the keys to bringing this balance into life, but I’m still learning how to make it work for me, not against me.
What excites you most about the beauty and skincare world, and what do you most wish you could help change?
The most exciting thing to me is knowing that you can change how you feel by changing how you take care of yourself. Which can lead to a change in your projection in the world. As someone who struggled for so long with intense skincare issues, I know how debilitating it can be when your skin reflects chaos. Once I started approaching beauty and skincare from a place of love and compassion and eating foods that nourished my body, I felt a big change in how I felt. I want that for others as well. It was the whole reason for opening CAP.
Any advice for those who are aiming to get into your line of work?
Be honest with yourself about why you are doing this. You have to REALLY, REALLY love it to keep going on those days when it’s hard. And there will be many of them, so take an inventory and ask yourself why you want to do this. Once you come up with that answer and it’s a yes, just go for it and begin.
Are there any places or organizations you're supporting or wish you could support?
I have a deep connection to dog rescue, and my friend, Chrissy Beckles, who started The Sato Project, has been a hero of mine since the day I met her. I support them in all the ways I can.
What did you do during quarantine that you hadn't before?
Shipped boxes nonstop!
Has this time changed your relationship with travel and movement?
I threw my back out during quarantine, so my movement came to a halt. I’m still trying to get back into it, but I have a lot of fear surrounding it. It’s been a very humbling experience. Slowly but surely, I’m making my way back into movement, but to be honest, it’s slower than I’d like.
How are you sustaining connection and interacting with people during this time?
We have the luxury of having a big deck in our new home, so we’ve been having outdoor lunches on the weekends, and that has fed me in so many ways. Literally and figuratively. We’ve dreamt of having an outdoor space for years, so we’re taking full advantage of it.
What is your nightime skincare routine?
At night I do a thorough cleanse. I move between a bunch of cleansers; right now, it’s F. Miller Cleansing Oil or Marie Veronique Pure EO Free Cleanser. Then I ZIIP my face a few nights a week which helps with rosacea immensely, then a swipe of MV Hypotonic, MV C-Therapy Serum, MV Barrier Lipid Complex, and the LESSE face oil. I always read before bed for about an hour, and then I’m off to sleep.
I take SEED probiotics, Dosage Pearl Pills, Alexis Smart Flower Remedies, and Magnesium to help with my sleep.
How do you keep active?
Yoga, hiking, walking the dogs, swimming in the ocean. I just started surfing too!
What’s been inspiring you?
Always books. I’m reading The Fixed Stars by Molly Wizenberg right now, which is brilliant, just finished Breath by James Nestor which was life-changing, and am in the middle of The Mindful Athlete by George Mumford (thanks to Beverly Nguyen) and We Are What We Eat by Alice Waters. Reading never stops inspiring me. It’s where I get most of my inspiration.
What are you watching?
We started Schitt’s Creek a couple of months ago, and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard while watching tv. Also, someone just gifted us a huge tv, so once that is set up, we are getting The Criterion Channel.
what are you listening to?
Laraaji, Julianna Barwick, ODA concerts, and my husband’s playlists– they’re honestly the best.
what are you eating?
Sourdough bread, fruit, salads, seaweed wraps, cacao, matcha, sauerkraut, pizza.
what are you drinking?
Always Gerolsteiner.
Favorite things you’ve bought in the past year?
Mostly things for our house. I love buying ceramics and kitchen items. My most favorite things from last year are our custom lamps by the fantastic Kassandra Thatcher with lampshades from my brilliant friend Kristin Grant of Dust to Dust.
images provided by kerrilynn pamer, interview by marina sulmona